5 Year Life Cycles

 

It seems to me that life progresses in life cycles lasting approximately 5 years. Compare someone of zero to someone of 5, of 10 to someone of 10, 10 to 15, 15 to 20, 20 to 25, 25 to 30, 30 to 35, 35 to 40, 40 to 45, 45 to 50, 50 to 55, 55 to 60, 60 to 65, and so on- you get the picture.

 

At zero there is scarcely the ability to smile. At five the natural scepticism and disquiet at objects all around has given way to confidence. By 10, observation is still around as is self-absorption and role playing. By 15, the child and the beyond co-exist as two sides of the same coin. By 20, childhood has given way and the first great love has probably been had and scepticism has set in. By 25, life's daily routines have become more established as the person has found themselves integrated into life's systems and processes such as education, work, relationship, travel and the like. By 30, the energy to extract yourself from those systems has become almost a struggle too far. By 35, marriage and children and houses and other systems have become preponderant. By 40, people have been intertwined in travel and hobbies and social circles. And so on.

 

Does life get better as the next life cycle milestone is navigated? Do the commuting couple that have good jobs and a stay at home wife (with a part time job for a couple of days a month) and a nice house in the suburbs and a people carrier and a beautiful child enjoy life more than the single 30 someone city inhabitant that has been significantly hurt in relationships but has the backbone of friendships with like-minded individuals to act as a support system?

 

That is not to say that this is a precise science: these cycles do not necessarily go in 5 year blocks, and nor do those blocks necessary coincide with specific ages or birthdays. But it is all too painfully true to a 30 year old trying to date people in their mid 20s that they are stuck between a rock and a hard place- they like the wisp of optimism and energy that emanates from the mid-20, but cannot stand having to see again the learning curve that they have already been through- the lessons learned, the struggle to combine career and a life- the search for outings and occasions to distil the routine. There may be advantages to the physical state but there are also disadvantages to the mental state.

 

They say that as you get older these differences in age become less important. When you are a child a difference of a couple of years seems like an unassailable advantage. As an adult such an age difference is more manageable. They say that the ideal partner for a man is a woman three years his junior, and for a women the ideal partner is a man three years older. So that works with each other- and with the general theory! But extend that age gap to five years and it becomes untenable. The only people that can tolerate a relationship with a big age gap have to be those who are old enough not to want to have to think anymore and need someone to share the lifestyle they have cultivated with. Or those who are prepared to make the difference a couple of life cycles long- the advantages to a 30 year old of a 20 year old, or a 30 to a 40, mean that the benefits far outweigh the costs.

 

It seems to me that this observation and these observations about 5 year life cycles contain a lot of truth.

 

 

Author: Simon Buckingham

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