Charisma is not something they can teach you in school

 

These days we live in a world full of personality neutral people- the sports stars are all robots because they have been bought up to be obsessed about one thing since they were born. The housemates on the 'Big Brother' reality TV show have been selected for their looks and not their personalities- by and large they have none. They all get on well and support each other and say nice things to each other. And of course all large companies are filled with nice average people who would not say boo to a goose. People have to go out and binge drink to develop an interesting outgoing personality- only when they are drunk do they come alive.

 

Charisma is not something that you learn in school. You are born with it- that magical something that enables you to make jokes from nearly any situation. Charisma is what enables you to get other people to laugh at almost anything you say even when it is not that funny and enables you to make something funny out of some everyday thing. Charisma is what enables you to get the deal done and to persuade people and reel them into your way of thinking.

 

There are many people who I meet who I think I don't hit it off with because I have trouble getting them to laugh. I speak to them and all I see back is a blank face. I used to think that it was me that was the problem- they didn't like me or I am so different that they can't find anything in common with me. Now I realise that the problem belongs to them. You can see the effect on people as they grow up- as soon as they come off the booze and stop doing stupid pranks they start to settle down and go from one extreme to the other.

 

The majority of average people without charisma are of course nice people that are easy to get on with and are safe- you have no reason to fear them- they don't have it in them to do anything other than do the best they can with what they are.

 

I was born with charisma and will be eternally grateful for this. As I got more successful, stress meant that I became more serious and I didn't use my charisma as much- I was too busy. But as I have become more successful, I have felt my charisma coming back nearer to the fore and started valuing it fully- up until now I had taken it for granted.

 

There are very few people I know that have charisma. I can count them on the fingers of one hand. It's a family thing- my grandfather had it and my father too to a lesser degree. It is not something I insist on for my employees- they gain confidence and authority from being successful in a successful company but cannot suddenly become charismatic.

 

They is a management theory called 'charismatic leadership' where entrepreneurs create visions of the future and sell employees and customers on where the company will be in a couple of years time rather than where is actually is. I certainly was always seeing where we would be and basing our negotiations on this more powerful position. But charisma is not even something that an entrepreneur needs- in fact many small businesspeople I meet are simply too nice to make real money.

 

Having charisma makes every day life and routine more fun for the charismatic person and also the people who are working and living with that person. Life is just more interesting and fun when a charismatic person is around.

 

Charismatic people are so rare that they cannot be held within the traditional constructs of organization and hierarchy- this would not only stifle them but probably also kill them. These people need the breathing space and the performing area to stretch their wings and add value to life. Charisma is not something that can be taught in school. You have either got it, or you haven't. And if you have, it would be a shame to waste it.

 

 

Author: Simon Buckingham

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