Crazy golf versus golf
Crazy golf and golf are two similar sports. In fact, both are silly little games which strike me as ludicrous. They both entail using sticks called golf clubs to pocket little balls into little holes. But these two sports do go a long way to illustrate the differences between the old organized world and the new unorganized world.
Golf is a sport from the age old organized tradition, with:
1. High entry barriers.
First you have to be able to afford to play it: the membership fees to join a golf club are as certain as it is possible to be going to be high.
If you can afford the fees, you are then compelled by golfing society to get dressed up when playing. There is a specialized uniform which routinely includes strangely patterned shirts and pullovers, sleeveless pullovers called "tank tops" and spiked shoes so as not to damage the greens.
Not only do you need the clothing, but you also need the equipment: expensive golf bags filled with a whole range of different "irons" depending on the type of shots you are going to play such as "putters".
Not only that, but to develop a useful swing and play "properly" you have to take expensive lessons before you can even play a round of golf.
Golf is therefore a game with high entry barriers which is only accessible to those who can afford it: typically, at least middle-class, middle income earners. The many business deals which are agreed on golf courses are only open to club members and other golf players.
Not only that, but many players decadently employ a "caddie", a slave who carries around all the golf player’s equipment.
2. Complicated measurement systems.
With golf, there is a system of "pars". Golfers are expected to put the ball in an average of a certain number of hits: this is known as "the par". Pars are difficult to predict given that different players hit the ball harder and can therefore reach the green in fewer shots.
Positively, there is also a handicap system which lets people of different skill levels play against one another. If you are a reasonable player who regularly puts the ball in fewer shots, you start the round of 18 holes at a greater handicap than less consistent and skillful players.
3. Obstructive landscape.
The landscape of golf courses is deliberately obstructive, full of bunkers, trees, spectators, ponds and slopes for your ball to get trapped in.
4. Leisurely time and pace.
Golf is played at a thoughtful, leisurely pace. A round of 18 holes can take a full day, especially when socializing at the 19th hole, the bar, is taken into account. The bar is the standing up equivalent of dinner parties: talking about cars, holidays, skiing, work promotions and all the other things that you are realize do not matter when you downshift.
5. High environmental costs.
Quite aside from the difficulty of imagining any benefits about the intrinsic value from playing golf, the associated costs are considerably greater. All that space taken up and all that water sprinkled to keep the greens growing.
The contrast between golf and crazy golf is clear. Whereas golf mimics the old organized world, crazy golf represents the unorganized world.
1. Lower entry barriers.
You can play crazy golf in any clothes that you find comfortable. Players just need one club which they carry themselves. The start up costs for the crazy golf equipment are lower, and the ease of carrying around a crazy golf club greater.
The distance between the place you start ("tee off") and the hole itself is much shorter than in golf. This means that the entry barriers are lower: first time crazy golf players can put something very quickly, whereas new beginners could be playing golf for a long time before they put a ball.
2. Simple measurement systems.
The idea with crazy golf is just to get the ball down the hole in as few shots as possible. Nothing more, nothing less.
3. Constructive landscape.
With crazy golf, the slopes actually assist players in putting the balls: if you aim correctly you can get the balls putted quickly because they follow the curves of the course. There are still traps to look out for and your ball can leave the area set aside for that hole, but that’s life, there are no guarantees of success.
Crazy golf, with its smaller playing area and supporting landscape, is like technological capitalism, giving its players both the opportunity to play and the opportunity to put.
4. Fast time and pace.
Crazy golf is a sport which is much more attuned to today’s quicker, faster unorganized world than the slower, more organized world of golf. With crazy golf, you can easily complete a round in less than an hour.
5. Lower environmental costs.
Instead of playing golf on grass, crazy golf is played on concrete.
This Dispatch has violated one of my principles: never write about a place you haven’t been or a subject you have not discovered personally. I have played crazy golf, but not golf. I can’t justify the time and money. Apologies therefore if any terminology is wrong: e-mail me with corrections.
In the approximate lyrics of the song by Seal "Gotta get a little crazy to survive" this unorganized world. As Tom Peters sort of said, crazy times call for crazy people- and crazy golf.
Author: Simon Buckingham
What do you think?
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